Runners for dummies-Chapter 1, Types of runners

Here’s the best-selling guide to taking care of your runner.

Do you have a runner in your life? This fun, friendly guide to runners prepares you for this tough but terrific time. From the basics – housebreaking, feeding, training – to the latest on runner care, supporting your runner, and the new designer breeds of runners. You get everything you need to understanding their odd behaviors.

*Please note, these articles are meant to find humor in the silly behaviors of runners.  I fit in many of these categories myself.  

Chapter 1- Different types of runners.

There are many different breeds of runners.  You won’t find many purebreds as most runners are mixed or hybrids.  Here is a list below of our different breeds and common behaviors.

  • Road Runners- Road runners are often found in snazzy matching outfits. Looking for speed and PR race courses.  Your road runners can be a bit obsessed with splits and elevation charts.  Looking for the flat and fast courses.

 

  • Trail runners- Typically a close nit, group. They run with the motto, “no man left behind.” They are usually in it for the journey not the clock. Adverse weather conditions and mud make them really excited. Be careful, many trail runners are not potty-trained and will drop trow in the middle of the woods when the mood strikes.

 

  • Mileage Junkie- Obsessed with running all the miles! To increase their weekly miles they are often running multiple times a day. Often times the runners will sacrifice quality for quantity. Running all of this mileage takes up a lot of time and creates a lot of laundry. Be prepared to for larger grocery bill with this breed.

 

  • Gold Digger-These runners appear fairly normal. However they are obsessed with BLING! They choose their races based on the medals and swag they receive at each race.  The bigger the better! Can we say “Flava-Flave.”

 

 

  • Speedsters- This breed of runner likes to run fast. Seriously, every single run is run way too fast.  They don’t understand the idea behind active recovery and the importance of training zones.  Unfortunately, this can put many of this breed on the fast track to injuries.  Be ready to nurse this breed back to health.  This breed can also be very stubborn.  Telling them to slow down, will not be enough.

 

  • Competitive Jerks- This group of runners does not back down. Everything can be a competition.  They will do ridiculous stuff, just for bragging rights.  Don’t be alarmed when they are wanting to compete in a beer mile or eggnog miles “for fun.” These runners can come off a tad arrogant but are always down for friendly competition and great time.

 

  • Hobby Joggers-This is probably the most enjoyable of runners. They are laid back and enjoy getting in shape. They are often found in packs at the coffee house after.  If you are considering getting a runner, this is runner is the least maintenance.

 

  • Gear Junkies-These runners complete ever single run holding or wearing every accessory or running tech they own. They can’t complete their run without the latest watches, heart rate monitors, wireless headphones and more. Having a gear junky can get quite expensive.

 

  • Purist- These runners are the opposite of gear junkies. You may find them with an old school Timex watch but that’s it.  You won’t catch them jamming out with headphones on a run.  They believe in running the old school natural way. Some of them will begin to run without shoes.  They are happiest getting lost in the woods for hours, disconnected from the tech world. They often have very clean and pure diets to match their running style.

 

Be sure to subscribe, so you can continue to learn more about your runner.  Follow up chapters include;

 

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